I've finished James Baraz's and Shoshana Alexander's book Awakening Joy. They offer a 10-step process. But it's not a manual and doesn't take a goal-oriented approach. You're invited to read the entire book or read sections that interest or apply to you. Here's what I liked most...
STEP ONE: INTRODUCING THE MIND TOWARD JOY
INSIGHT: Setting my intention is not setting a goal. This isn't about productivity.
PRACTICE: I recall one particularly joyful moment, savoring how I feel emotionally and physically.
STRATEGY: I'm thinking about setting a timer every hour or so minutes and asking myself what would make me happy right then.
INSIGHT: Just like an exercise program, this process of finding joy requires stretching.
STRATEGY: Paying to my intention, primes my brain to notice the opportunities for joy.
INSIGHT: But this isn't about making joy happen; it's about allowing it to happen.
QUOTE: "gladness connected with wholesomeness"--Buddha. Actions and attitudes associated with well-being. Clear mind and kind heart.
QUOTE: "Speak or act with a pure [clear] mind
And happiness will follow you
As your shadow, unshakable. ~Dhammapada
STEP TWO: MINDFULNESS: BEING PRESENT FOR YOUR LIFE
RESOURCE: Look into Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (Jon Kabat-Zin).
QUOTE: "A moment of mindfulness is always a moment of freedom." It gives us choices. ~Sylvia Boorstein
RESOURCE: The Lazy Man's Guide to Enlightenment by Thaddeus Golas
"Expansion" "Contraction"
awareness ignorance
comprehension fear & pain
understanding unconsciousness
hatred
cells are smiling hard to breathe
unafraid desire to retreat
open hatred for everything/everyone
connected to other beings sick to stomach
warm & happy
maybe tearful
STEP THREE: GRACEFUL HEART, JOYFUL HEART
QUOTE: "Boredom is simply a lack of attention." ~Fritz Perls
INSIGHT: What gets in the way of appreciating life?
obsessing about checking off tasks, rushing, being goal-oriented, focusing on producing,
FOMOing, fantasizing, wishing for perfection, repeating self-criticism, regretting,
nostaligizing, catastrophizing, being inattentive
QUOTE: "You can complain that roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses."
~Ziggy character in cartoon by Tom Wilson
STRATEGY: Change from "have" to do something --> "get" to do something.
STRATEGY: Record 3-5 good thing that happened in each day.
STRATEGY: Add "and I am truly fortunate" after each of my complaints.
QUOTE: "In the middle of winter, I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer."
~Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus
STEP FOUR: FINDING JOY IN DIFFICULT TIMES
QUOTE: "Some people walk in the rain. Other just get wet." ~Roger Miller
QUOTE: "If there is a remedy when trouble strikes,
What reason is there for despondency?
And if there is no help for it,
What use is there in being sad?" ~Shantideva
INSIGHT: Being open to suffering...
...lets the pain move through you and not get stuck in you.
...creates the conditions to be open to more joy.
Mindfulness and gratitude can help create this openness.
QUOTE: "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."
~Mark Twain
INSIGHT: Worry typically doesn't lead to solutions.
QUOTE: "Don't believe everything you think. " ~bumper sticker
STRATEGY: Stare back at the first moment of a negative thought...
1) Watch it.
2) Look back at its source.
3) Investigate why the thought seems so solid.
4) Watch as its solidity melts away.
STRATEGY: For negative thoughts, the Buddha recommends forgetfulness and inattention.
Also, nurture yourself.
INSIGHT: Suffering unsettles our complacency and challenges us to look elsewhere for happiness that is not dependent on circumstances
QUOTE: "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet." ~Helen Keller
STEP FIVE: THE BLISS OF BLAMELESSNESS
INSIGHT: "To arrive at blamelessness requires facing the past honestly, doing what we can to reconcile with others, and forgiving ourselves by replacing guilt and self-judgment with compassionate understanding." ~authors
INSIGHT: "When you see clearly that your choices lead to more misery, that's when you're ready to move in a new direction. However, you can't accomplish this by turning against yourself. You have to go gently, recognizing that you are in a process." ~authors
INSIGHT: “Einstein is reported to have said that the most
important questions we can ask ourselves is: ‘Is the Universe friendly?’” 290
INSIGHT: “For me, the voice of wisdom usually has a tone of
kindness, clarity, compassion, and understanding. I sense it won’t steer me
wrong. There’s usually a feeling of relaxation in my body, a softening in my
heart, a release in my gut, a drop in my soldiers.” 286
I feel like
everything in my body and mind is in alignment.
There is a great
feeling of calm and readiness to accept what is happening now and what may
happen in the future.
I feel solid,
like I’m standing in my truth.
The muscles in my body feel
soft and released, as opposed to tense and holding on, and my monkey mind
quiets down.
I live inside my skin with
greater ease.
I feel a clarity
in my mind and a sense of kindness in my heart. 286
INSIGHT: “It’s not that we have to do anything special, but rather
when we stop striving, natural happiness is there to be touched. Our basic nature is peaceful, and that peace
brings a kind of joy. All we have to do
to find it is to stop disturbing it.
When the body calms down and the mind can just relax and rest, there’s a
joy and delight in that experience which is very pleasurable in itself and very
renewing. There’s a feeling of the
batteries being recharged: aliveness refreshing itself.” 282
INSIGHT: “…equanimity is deeper than calm, because even when our
thought are bouncing off the walls, with equanimity we can remain balanced and
aware, not collapsing into the chaos. We
can abide in the awareness of the swirl, rather than in the swirl itself.” 279
INSIGHT: “During the generation of pure compassion, the brains of
all the subjects, both adept meditators and novices, showed activity in regions
responsible for monitoring one’s emotions, planning movements, and positive
emotions such as happiness. Regions that keep track of what is ‘self’ and what
is ‘other’ became quieter, as if, during compassion, meditation, the
subjects…opened their minds and hearts to others.” 247
INSIGHT: “As the Dalai Lama says, if we derive happiness from the
happiness of others, we have at least six billion more opportunities to be
happy.” 236
INSIGHT: “In the teachings of several Eastern religions, the
peacock is an important symbol of the ability to transform negative feelings
into positive ones.” 230
INSIGHT: “’There’s your answer. Just let them be who they are. Get
in touch with what you love about them, and stay focused on that rather than
what you want to get from the.’ A key element in sharing a loving connection
with other is shifting the focus off ourselves.” 214
INSIGHT: “Einstein wisely said that a problem can’t be solved on
the level at which it was created, and to embrace ourselves fully requires
realizing we are bigger than who we think we are.” 201
INSIGHT: “In written Chinese the characters for ‘busy’ are ‘heart’
plus ‘killing.’ Besides the physical diseases stress is known to cause—strokes,
heart attacks, diabetes, and ulcers, among others—it also closes our heart
spiritually and emotionally.” 160
INSIGHT: “’In Buddhism we talk about the fragrance of
morality. It means that when you
practice integrity, it’s almost like you have an extraordinary divine scent
around you, and you magnetize everything you are searching for—all the
goodness, virtue, joy, freedom, even enlightenment if that’s what you’re
looking for. Integrity is the first step
towards the highest goals you are trying to actualize in this human
existence.’”—Anam Thubten Rinpoche 2008
“What is now known as the Deep Ecology movement goes beyond simply
recycling or turning off a light. It
holds that doing what we can to restore balance and health to the planet is an
act of caring that deepens our connection to all of life and nourishes our
spirit.” 139
